Quantcast
   
Sunday - November 27, 2022

Articles Written By AlanTapley

 

Buyer’s Remorse

November 15th, 2022

The Peloton bike was rolled into the front room of the house three months after promised. It was the early stages of the pandemic, the gyms were closed, and the room had been converted into a home gym with a weight bench, exercise ball, and a view of the cul-de-sac. The bike cost around $2500 as I recall, unclear if that price included the four sets of shoes, Peloton logoed water bottles, hand weights, or yoga mat. The monthly subscription was another $40 per month for virtual classes, instructors, and guidance. Our family used it religiously for three months – until we didn’t. The Peloton... Read More

What Did Your Sports Hero Dress Up As For Halloween?

November 1st, 2022

Besides the sugar-buzz from devouring fun-sized Snicker bars all weekend, the best part was watching famous athletes walking arena halls in their Halloween best. The Celtics’ Grant Williams went full Gotham in a Batman costume. Atlanta’s Trae Young dressed as the Black Panther. The Nuggets’ Nikola Jokic was appropriately made up as The Joker. And most everyone else in the sports world showed up as some type of character from Stranger Things. I didn’t happen to catch what quarterback Russell Wilson dressed up as pre-game, but I had a few guesses. • Russell could have dressed up as... Read More

The Denver Broncos – No Laughing Matter

October 18th, 2022

Let me get this straight. Denver brings in Nathaniel Hackett, Aaron Rodgers’ offensive guru to run the team. Trades for quarterback Russell Wilson, a Super Bowl winning first ballot Hall-of-Famer, and signs him to a $245 million dollar contract. Starts the season against a laughable schedule that includes the Seahawks, Texans, and winless Raiders. And the Broncos are 2-4 averaging a league worst 15.1 points per game? • It’s bad enough that the Broncos are the laughingstock of the league right now, but is it necessary to keep putting them on the big stage for all to see? The loss to the... Read More

So Many Games – I’m Getting a Sponer

October 4th, 2022

It is hard to describe my excitement of the current sports calendar. It is as if the Sport Gods opened up the heavens and simply let it rain. The NFL kickoff could have satisfied my fix as entertainment filled my Sundays, Mondays, and even Thursdays. But add to that the college football season and I really start to get aroused. Using the term aroused intertwined with sports seems a little creepy, but it is not sexual. It’s not like I’m Ime Udoka of the Boston Celtics or anything. And after months of meaningless baseball, the MLB is finally getting good. Teams fighting for playoff spots,... Read More

Fantasy Football’s All-Madden(ing) Team

September 20th, 2022

The All-Madden Team was named after former Oakland Raider coach, and sportscaster great, John Madden. It celebrated the attributes that Madden looked for in his players. Toughness, grit, and determination. The All-Maddening Team is completely different. The name – purely coincidence. The All-Maddening Team is a regretful look at the players you drafted in your fantasy league and the maddening decisions that were made. More mistakes than Nathaniel Hackett. More misses than Rodrigo Blankenship. More bad picks than Joe Burrow. Meet the team, and the players that are ruining your season. Quarterbacks... Read More

The Week in Sports – And the Walk-Out Song

September 6th, 2022

As Serena Williams took to the court for what was presumed to be the final match of her career, the audience roared – but the music stayed silent. Unlike baseball in which songs by AC/DC, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, or The Notorious B.I.G. could blast through speakers to elevate crowds – Tennis is simply too regal, too proper, and light clapping will suffice. But what if there was a walk-out song? Can you imagine the response if Serena Williams paid homage to her upbringing and took the court to the sounds of Tupac Shakur’s “California Love”? In the city, the city of Compton – we... Read More

Is Fishing a Sport?

August 28th, 2022

On my way to the gym last Saturday morning, I took the opportunity to listen to a little sports radio, hoping to find out the latest news on the Rockies, Broncos, or other local sports. Instead, the topic of conversation was about trout fishing. As I double-checked the station to confirm that I was listening to sports talk radio and not NPR, the host rambled on about fishing on the Roaring Fork River. There are three questions that have baffled mankind since the existence of time. Is there life after death? What came first, the chicken or the egg? And is fishing really a sport? Step one in my journey... Read More

Fantasy Football – And the Healthy Alternative

August 23rd, 2022

By the time the 2021 Fantasy Football season had ended, my team looked like a MASH unit. Cooper Kupp had helped me secure the number one seed for the playoffs, but my players were dropping like flies. Derrick Henry was rehabbing, DeAndre Hopkins was sidelined, and Lamar Jackson had to be replaced by Washington quarterback, Taylor Heincke. I lost big. But last year’s squad was like a Taco Bell Chalupa. It looked good on the surface and tasted pretty good at the time. But after the fact, all I was left with was unhealthy ingredients, pain, and regret. Instead of the Chalupa, this year’s... Read More

Golf and the LIV Tour – They’re Scary MFers

July 26th, 2022

The concept sounds reasonable on the surface. Create an international golf league to compete with the PGA, change up the rules a little, offer more money, and poach big-name talent to help market and legitimize. Golf legend Greg Norman is the new Chief Executive Officer of the LIV Tour. A golf tour in which Hip-Hop music is cranked on the driving range, three rounds are played versus four, and players are paid handsomely, no matter how well they perform. Dustin Johnson and Bryson DeChambeau joined the LIV Tour collecting $125 Million each. And after Tiger Woods turned down a reported nine-digit... Read More

ALL-STAR CJ CRON – AND WHAT THE C AND J STAND FOR

July 12th, 2022

It makes sense that C.J Cron has gone virtually unnoticed for the last nine years. The first baseman/DH spent the first four years of his major league career in the shadows of Mike Trout and Albert Pujois in Anaheim. The next three years were spent buried in the obscurity of the Tampa Bay Rays, Minnesota Twins, and Detroit Tigers. After batting just .190 for the Tigers, and with limited options, Cron found himself signing a minor league contract with the Colorado Rockies that happened to include an invitation to Spring Training. Making the major league roster was quite the accomplishment but... Read More

Why Winning The Stanley Cup is Better Than Sex

June 28th, 2022

The final seconds were ticking down, the net was empty, and the Colorado Avalanche were just a puck-clear away from winning it all. Gabriel Landeskog was on the bench after crawling off the ice, Tampa Bay was on the attack with an extra skater, and Darcy Kuemper had been ridiculed all series for letting in soft goals. Moments like this are what sports are made of. Anxiety mixed with exhilaration plus torture. I couldn’t watch, and yet, I couldn’t look away. With sixteen seconds left, the Avs got a stop near the blue line as the puck slowly trickled down the ice. Cale Makar fought for the... Read More

What the Puck?!! – It’s Been Twenty Years?!!

June 14th, 2022

The last time the Colorado Avalanche won the Stanley Cup – Britney was dating Justin, Beyonce was still a Destiny’s Child, and Joe Sakic wore skates to work each morning. Instead of a suit and tie. The year was 2001, and while society was busy dancing to songs downloaded off Napster, the current Avalanche squad was so young, that they were most likely going down for Nap Time. On Wednesday, the 2022 Colorado Avalanche will begin their quest to lift Lord Stanley’s Cup as they take on the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game 1 – but to describe how excruciatingly long the two-decade wait has been... Read More

The Colorado Rockies Are a Joke – Literally

May 31st, 2022

Name any baseball movie and you will generally find loveable losers that conquer in the end. A drunk coach, a female pitcher, and a team of misfits turn it around in The Bad News Bears. Jake Taylor and his team of castoffs take Cleveland to the playoffs in Major League. And once Roy Hobbs finally gets his shot (no pun intended if you’ve read the book), the fledgling New York Knights are practically unbeatable in The Natural. Unfortunately, the Colorado Rockies are not a movie. The script reads like one with frugal owners, star players leaving for greener pastures, and a roster full of colorful... Read More

Looking Back: Surviving the Bolder Boulder

May 25th, 2022

On Memorial Day last year, over 50,000 runners blanketed the city of Boulder as they competed in the Bolder Boulder 10K. Elite runners from across the globe, top wheelchair competitors, and thousands of everyday citizens sweated through 6.2 miles as they attended one of the largest and most popular races in the country. While the race usually comes down to a sprint at the final stretch of Folsom Field, and hundreds struggle from the heat, cramping, injury, and altitude, most finish with a smile. The stories are usually written about Olympian athletes and their ability to overcome obstacles. Well,... Read More

And Then There Were Four

May 17th, 2022

And then there were four. Luka Doncic could have defeated the Phoenix Suns by himself, and after a first half in which Doncic scored 27 points, equaling the Suns halftime total, he almost did. Spencer Dinwiddie added 30 points on 11 of 15 shooting. Jalen Brunson chipped in 24 points, and the Dallas Mavericks made 19 of their 39 threes (48.7%) on their way to a lopsided 123-90 game seven victory. The Boston Celtics got 27 points from Grant Williams, 23 from Jason Tatum, and 19 from Jaylen Brown as the team made 22 of their 55 threes (40%) in a game seven route of the Milwaukee Bucks, 109-81. The... Read More

The Best Draft We Never Had

May 3rd, 2022

Maybe the trick to enjoying the NFL draft is not to participate in it. In 2021 the Denver Broncos passed on linebacker Micah Parsons. The 2020 draft gave us Jerry Jeudy instead of Justin Jefferson. Noah Fant was hardly the steal of 2019, Josh Allen was available in 2018, Garett Bolles has been holding since 2017, and the 2016 NFL Draft…..that was Paxton Lynch. The Denver Broncos ended up trading a boat load of picks for quarterback Russell Wilson, finally joining the festivities with the 64th pick, and last one of round two. But let’s be honest. By the 64th pick, the Broncos could have... Read More

The 2022 NFL Mock Draft – Vegas Edition

April 19th, 2022

The Denver Broncos may not be picking anyone in the 2022 NFL Draft until number 64 of the second round, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be exciting. The event takes place in Las Vegas – the perfect setting for future dreams and crushing disappointment. I’m expecting food-stained jerseys, alcohol induced jeers, and beer flying everywhere. And that’s just my living room. A prediction of the first dozen picks of the 2022 NFL Draft – just like it will look like in Vegas. (Minus the lap dance, glitter, and regret.) 1) Jacksonville Jaguars – Aiden Hutchinson / Edge / Michigan – With... Read More

March (And April) Madness

April 5th, 2022

The term March Madness was practically an understatement for this year’s NCAA Championships. Gonzaga couldn’t make it past the Sweet Sixteen, North Carolina had an epic battle against Duke, and Saint Peter’s knocked off Kentucky, Murray State, and Purdue. The NFL gave us its own version of March Madness with Tyreek Hill joining the Dolphins, Davante Adams going to Vegas, and Russell Wilson heading to the Broncos. Baseball joined in on the March Madness by ending its lockout, implementing the DH in the National League, and starting a Free Agent frenzy. The hope was that March Madness would... Read More

Baker Mayfield’s Agent

March 22nd, 2022

Imagine that you are Baker Mayfield’s agent. Your client has a career record of just 29 wins and 30 losses, has thrown 56 interceptions in 60 games as a starter, makes $19 million a year, is coming back from off-season shoulder surgery, and he’s demanded a trade. Did I mention that your client has also been replaced as the starter by Deshaun Watson and his five-year, $230 million contract? You tell your client that you will make a few calls and not to worry. After all, this is Baker Mayfield, the first pick of the 2018 NFL Draft. • Tampa Bay seems like the perfect fit with its talented... Read More

The Not So Elite Eight

March 8th, 2022

Stop me if this sounds familiar. The time arrives to fill out your March Madness bracket as you methodically pencil in your winners while moving through the rounds. At your completion, your bracket ends up with just one nine-seed upsetting an eight-seed, your alma mater advancing much farther than anyone predicted, and four number one seeds fighting to cut down the nets. The process seems logical until you realize that due to the number of entries in your pool, you basically have no mathematical chance of winning because everyone has picked the favored seeds to advance, and their alma mater is... Read More