Former Colorado Buffalo, NBA legend, and current NBA coach, Chauncey Billups, was arrested and charged in connection with a federal gambling probe that involved both illegal sports betting and rigged poker games with organized crime.

FBI director, Kash Patel, arrested Billups last Thursday, along with more than 30 others, in a wide-ranging gambling investigation that included NBA player Terry Rozier, former NBA player and assistant coach Damon Jones, and the Italian Mafia.

According to the charges, Billups was used to lure victims into high-stakes poker games in which rigged shuffling machines and X-ray devices were used to steal more than $7 million from unsuspecting players.

Credit via Wikipedia

Mr. Big Shot may be going to the Mr. Big House.

But why would Billups, a 5x All-Star, NBA Champion, NBA Finals MVP, and recent Hall of Fame recipient, get involved in illegal gambling and organized crime?

Why would Billups, who earned over $100 million during his 18-year playing career, $30 million more as an NBA head coach, and recently signed a contract extension until 2028, possibly risk it all?

I mean, Chauncey was just looking for a card on the river, not a trip up one.

The first question is, what even is “illegal gambling” anymore? I just bet a parlay on Polymarket that included the Dallas Cowboys, Jerome Powell, and ten shares of Beyond Meat (BYND).

The reality is that Chauncey drew the worst card available. The Trump card.

Kash Patel and the Trump Administration end up arresting a black, NBA star, from Portland, of all places? Now, that’s a parlay.

Credit via Pitchfork

It can’t look good when the Trump Administration has a very public spat with the city of Portland and then arrests the head coach of their NBA team. Who are you going after next? Fred Armisen?

Hey Kash, Chauncey also played for the Toronto Raptors a few years back. Are you going to add Illegal re-entry to the charges?

Maybe Chauncey was just looking for a few Good Fellas to join his team.

Credit via Wikipedia

Maybe Chauncey thought he was meeting up with Detroit Pistons’ Jaden Ivey, and not Phil.

I’m not saying that Kash Patel and the Trump Administration set this whole thing up. But the other NBA players rumored to be involved in this illegal poker game include Ace Bailey, King James, Derrick Queen, and assistant coach Jarrett Jack. One more player, and Patel has his Royal Flush.

Speaking of Flush, did Chauncey just flush his NBA career down the toilet?

And is it ironic that if Chauncey were visiting his dealer instead of a dealer, he’d be in much less trouble?

Chauncey just went from playing an offsuit to wearing an orange suit.

Chauncey just went from “I call,” to “Can I make my call?”

Texas Hold ’em is not supposed to refer to a jail cell down in Brownsville.

A Nut Flush in poker is one thing, but he doesn’t want to know if it’s a prison term as well.

Although it’s got to be better than a Backdoor Draw.

Credit via YouTube

And did you see Kash Patel’s fit as he walked into the press conference? Vintage baggy jeans, designer jacket with matching alligator handbag, gold chain, and Thierry Lasry sunglasses. Pretty sure that’s a dig on the NBA.

It’s a bad hand when one guy has a full house, another has three-of-a-kind, and you just have a pair – of handcuffs on you.

Every poker player has a “tell,” but when yours is Kash Pa-tel, that’s serious trouble.

You must wonder, with all this political pressure, whether Chauncey squealed and turned state’s evidence against the others. After all, the guy does have a ton of assists.

For a point guard, do you know what is worse than turning the ball over? Turning over state’s evidence.

This doesn’t add to his career steal total, right?

Chauncey may flip, but who knew the penalty for the flop would be this severe?

And what is all this nonsense about Terry Rozier providing inside information about leaving games early and betting the under on his stats? Rozier shot 39% from the field last season, 29% from 3pt range. Everyone bets the under on him!

Kash Patel went as far as to call Rozier and Jones’ actions, Insider Trading. But I’m not sure it’s illegal if it happens before the Trade Deadline.

How quickly did Rozier’s career come to an end? He went from breaking ankles to ankle bracelets in a matter of days.

Co-Captain to Co-Conspirator.

He went from being on ESPN’s top dunks to Rikers Island’s top bunks.

There was even speculation that Billups was resting his best players and leaking information to others so they could bet against his team. But with a lifetime coaching record of 117-211 with no playoff appearances, it would be difficult to prove he was losing on purpose.

Credit via Saturday Down South

What are the odds that the gambling world would rear its ugly head and one day corrupt the NBA? Well, according to their sponsors, DraftKings, FanDuel, and ESPN BET, it’s about -210.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe I have a big blind spot for Chauncey and the CU Bluffs. I mean Buffs. Maybe there’s a lesson to learn here.

Investing in corrupt Royal Flushes, bad. Investing in corrupt Royal Families, good.

Rigged games with poker chips, bad. Rigged markets with AI chips, good.

Investing in Sugar, Juice, or the Peso, good. Investing with guys named Sugar, Juice, or Peso, not so much.

Chauncey, I know the chips are down, you feel like folding, and you were dealt a bad hand, but I’m betting on you.

You are one of us.

You are a Denver native, a CU Buff, a Denver Nugget, and a true champion.

You’re one-of-a-kind.

Images via therosegardenproject, Wikipedia, youtube, pitchfork, saturdaydownsouth.

Alan Tapley The Athletic Supporter

Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years.  His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship