It is hard to describe my excitement of the current sports calendar. It is as if the Sport Gods opened up the heavens and simply let it rain.

The NFL kickoff could have satisfied my fix as entertainment filled my Sundays, Mondays, and even Thursdays. But add to that the college football season and I really start to get aroused.

Using the term aroused intertwined with sports seems a little creepy, but it is not sexual. It’s not like I’m Ime Udoka of the Boston Celtics or anything.

And after months of meaningless baseball, the MLB is finally getting good. Teams fighting for playoff spots, Albert Pujois still swinging at age 42, and Aaron Judge’s race to pass Roger Maris.

The NBA just started their preseason. The NHL started theirs as well. And I’m sure I could find a UFC fight, soccer match, tennis tournament, or golf match if I wasn’t too busy managing my Fantasy team.

All four of the major sports leagues happening at one time! College football every weekend! The Avalanche ready to defend the Cup! Murray and Jokic back together again! Aroused is the right term!

I’m aroused by the overwhelming amount of sports that has hit all at once.

OMG – I have a sponer!

Like an erection from sports – metaphorically speaking. A sponer.

• Makes sense to get a sponer after sneaking downstairs late at night to watch a little adult entertainment on some obscure network. And by that I mean Thursday Night Football on Amazon Prime.

• If anyone watched Tua Tagovailoa stagger around in week three against the Bills, they are probably not surprised by the horrific scene that occurred a week later. Another Tagovailoa concussion in which the Miami quarterback was pulled off on a stretcher and rushed to the hospital.

The NFL and the Miami Dolphins look really bad in this case, but only an unaffiliated neurotrauma consultant ended up losing his job.

I’m guessing the concussion protocol to allow Tagovailoa back into the game against Buffalo probably went like this. Q) How many of me are you seeing right now? A) Tua. Q) What’s your name? A) Tua. Q) How many fingers am I holding up? A) Tua. Q) What’s your jersey number? A) Tua. No, it’s one, but close enough. He’s good coach.

• Speaking of upright. (Okay, that was kind of Udoka like) – In London, New Orleans kicker, Wil Lutz, missed a game-tying 61-yard field goal when the ball hit the left upright, bounced off the crossbar, and then landed inches short.

Not very fair that the British get to attend entertaining football games while we’re forced to watch the Denver Broncos.

• Worst Fantasy Football stat of the week. Denver running back, Melvin Gordon III, not only potentially lost the game for the Broncos after his fumble was returned 68 yards for a Raider touchdown. But his fantasy points of -1.2 probably didn’t help that team either.

It gets worse. After tearing his ACL and LCL, Javonte Williams was lost for the season, leaving Melvin Gordon III as your everyday starter.

You know how Viagra advises that you seek medical treatment if your problem lasts more than four hours? A four-hour Bronco game has the opposite effect.

• After hitting his 61st homerun back on September 28th, Aaron Judge seems to be having a little trouble with his stick, going homerless since. In Judge’s defense, he’s been walked five times in his last four games, and 111 times this season.

If you think Judge is being pitched around – In the season that Barry Bonds set the homerun record with 73, he was walked 177 times. Although steroids and the size of his head blocking the plate had a lot to do with it.

I think the Rockies should sign Aaron Judge – just to keep Colorado interested in baseball for the last three months of the season.

• Raise a stick for DU hockey trying to repeat, and All The Small Things sure doesn’t describe Nathan Mackinnon’s new 8yr/$100 million contract as the Avalanche try to repeat as well.

• I’m not sure how it can be so HYSTERICALLY funny that Nebraska’s football coach, Scott Frost, can lose his job after losing to Georgia Southern. And so NOT funny when the same thing happens to Karl Dorrell.

• The problem with both the LIV Tour and the PGA is Tiger. Neither are sporting Woods right now.

Finally, if you were offended by any of the inappropriate sponer jokes – it was all my doing. Don’t blame my staff.

Images via npr.org, newyorkpost.com, arizonasports.com, sportingnews.com, facebook.com

Alan Tapley The Athletic Supporter

Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years.  His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship