At the 30,000-foot view, every leader says they want more time for what matters. Yet most are bleeding hours every day in drama.

Drama, as defined by Dr. Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, isn’t just loud arguments or office politics — it’s any reactive pattern that pulls you into one of three roles:

• Victim – “I can’t believe this is happening to me.”

• Rescuer – “I’ll fix this for everyone.”

• Persecutor – “This is all their fault.”

These roles are ego-driven — which simply means they’re led by the part of you focused on self-protection, image, and control. The ego isn’t “bad.” It’s the survival system you built early in life to keep yourself safe. But here’s the catch: the ego runs on outdated programming. It reacts to modern challenges as if they were the same threats you faced as a child — when you didn’t yet have emotional maturity, nuanced thinking, or social skills. And I would argue we still have a lot of work to do in all three of those areas.

I don’t watch much TV — I wait for the “feel good” stuff like Ted Lasso or The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Think of that Ted Lasso scene in the boardroom when Rebecca suddenly sees all the executives as little boys. That’s what’s really happening in drama — adults in expensive suits still using the defense mechanisms they learned on the playground. The fight, flight, or freeze responses that got them through schoolyard politics are now driving high-stakes business decisions.

When the ego is in the driver’s seat, you’re not acting from your present-day wisdom. You’re acting from old patterns. Your saboteur lives here — and unless you notice it and shift, the ego will keep making decisions designed to keep you safe, not to keep you effective.

Example 1 – The Meeting That Should Have Been an Email

A senior leader calls a 90-minute meeting because “we need alignment.” What follows is 60 minutes of rehashing old problems, 20 minutes of venting, and 10 minutes of vague commitments. The meeting ends without clear next steps — and worse, everyone leaves drained. That’s drama as a time suck.

Example 2 – The Email Chain From Hell

A project manager gets critical feedback from a client. Instead of clarifying facts, the team jumps into blame mode. The email chain spirals for three days, CC lists grow, and nothing gets resolved. Finally, someone picks up the phone, has a 10-minute values-aligned conversation, and resolves it. That single choice — to connect directly — could have saved 72 hours of wasted time.

Example 3 – My Saboteur in Action

No one is wrong here — and that includes you. If you can hear your mind saying, “That’s not how I protect myself. I don’t do that” — that’s your saboteur talking. The truth is, you learned your patterns young. For me, as a discerning only child, I still get wobbly when I’m surrounded by strangers I haven’t spent a day with yet. It doesn’t take long for them to stop being “strangers,” but on that first day, I get shy and have to manage my fear that they won’t like me. That’s my saboteur at work. The difference now is that my awareness has grown. I notice faster. I catch myself sooner. I spend less time stuck there each year.

The Shift: From Drama to Purpose

Karpman’s model also shows there’s a way out — shifting into the Purpose Triangle:

• Creator – “What’s possible here?”

• Coach – “How can I support them in finding their own solution?”

• Challenger – “What truth needs to be spoken for growth to happen?”

This shift comes from one deep decision: to live in alignment with your values, no matter what. Your core values — whether Integrity, Impact, Efficiency, or Freedom — are your true north. They pull you out of drama because they keep your actions tethered to what matters most.

When you operate from values:

• You say no to work that doesn’t serve your mission.

• You give feedback directly instead of letting resentments fester.

• You make decisions faster because you know what’s at stake.

be a ‘time magician’

Example 4 – The “Right Action” Habit

A COO I coached had a core value of Efficiency. For her, efficiency wasn’t just “doing things quickly” — it meant achieving the greatest impact with the least wasted motion, energy, and resources. She applied this lens ruthlessly to her leadership.

Before making any major decision, she asked: “Is this the most efficient path toward our goal?”

And that question wasn’t just about time — it forced her to weigh trade-offs in people’s energy, cross-department collaboration, budget use, and opportunity cost.

Applying this value consistently, she:

1. Eliminated Redundancies – Multiple teams were unknowingly working toward overlapping objectives. Unifying them reclaimed weeks of combined work each quarter.

2. Rebuilt Meeting Culture – She eliminated or redesigned 70% of recurring meetings, replacing most with concise asynchronous updates. Remaining meetings were high-value, high-decision spaces.

3. Increased Focus and Creativity – By removing unnecessary demands, her team had space to think, which improved both delivery speed and innovation.

At first, she had to resist the urge to “rescue” — which would have undermined efficiency — and instead held her leaders accountable for owning outcomes. Over time, she became what I call a time magician — not through hacks, but by removing the drag caused by drama.

Example 4B – The “Wrong Action” Habit

Contrast this with another COO in a similar role who didn’t anchor in values. She made decisions reactively, based on whoever was shouting the loudest that week. Without a clear filter, she said yes to too many initiatives, duplicated work already in progress, and filled her calendar with back-to-back meetings that rarely produced decisions.

Her team lived in a constant state of “almost done” as priorities shifted midstream. Burnout grew, talent left, and results suffered — not because she wasn’t working hard, but because her energy was diffused. She became a time martyr — sacrificing her own well-being while still failing to create the impact she wanted.

From Cloud to Table: The Practical Step

1. Name your top three values.

2. Know your top two saboteurs — and learn to spot them in others.

3. Before any meeting, task, or conversation, ask: “Does this align with my values?”

4. If not, decline, delegate, or redesign it.

Once you commit to this fully, productivity doesn’t just improve — it transforms. Right action becomes your default operating system. Every move directly serves your objectives, goals, and stake. That’s not just leadership. That’s sovereignty over your time, your impact, and your legacy.

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If this resonates, know that when I work with teams, the Drama Triangle is part of my major scope, called The Choice Model. It’s a key factor in creating a common language that sets people into their leadership and helps them shift out of drama into purpose — fast.

When people make that shift quickly, productivity soars, conflict resolves faster, trust deepens, and teams start making “right action” decisions that directly move the needle on their goals. The atmosphere changes — meetings get sharper, collaboration gets easier, and leaders feel more in control of their time and energy.

Here are three ways to take this further:

1. Work with me directly – Explore programs, keynotes, and resources on my website: Primal Leadership Business Coaching.

2. Take a beauty break – Read my blog post on sunflowers and remember: moments of beauty aren’t distractions, they’re fuel for purpose.

3. Learn the framework – Read more about Karpman’s Drama Triangle and start spotting these patterns in action.

Kate Galt Primal Leadership Business Coaching

Kate Galt coaches and challenges leaders at all levels— from entrepreneurs to seasoned executives— to sharpen their vision, articulate key messages so they connect and inspire, and make decisive, strategic moves that drive real business growth. Based in Boulder, Colorado, she works with individuals and teams to strengthen leadership, improve team dynamics, and achieve measurable results.

Her coaching is rooted in Primal Leadership—because the strongest leaders move with instinct, command presence without force, and create unshakable trust through raw, real connection.

Like any driven person, Kate is always figuring out how to do it all—running a business, raising two kids with her equally involved husband, and still making time for the adventure that brought her to Colorado in 1998. Whether it’s snowboarding, mountain biking, or chasing an ultimate frisbee, she knows the best leadership isn’t just learned—it’s lived.

The bottom line? Kate makes good leaders great.

Curious about what makes her coaching style so impactful? Book a call and experience it for yourself at CoachTheLeaders.com.