Would she recognize products in your regimen?

Just how old is your makeup?

MICROBES! Ew, right? They’re everywhere.

So, if you’re like me and still have the liquid foundation you bought your first year of college… this quiz is for you.

1) When it comes to eyeshadow, I…

a) still have the hue I wore to prom 12 years ago
b) use a value sized pot of neutral base scored at a Y2K Sam’s Club blowout
c) horde palettes like doomsday preppers horde water bottles
d) throw any away that I’ve lived with for 2 years


2) You need to borrow a lipstick? How about…

a) this Radical Raging Red my cousin gave me as a bridesmaid gift in 1992
b) a gloss flavored like vanilla cupcake (therefore obtained in the Magnolia bakery craze…  circa 2005?)
c) my favorite tube I’ve used for every major life event since college
d) you take this ten bucks and keep your cold sores to yourself


3) My foundation…

a) matches my summer 2013 tan perfectly
b) has separated into different chemical phases
c) is less consistent than most bowel movements
d) is replaced every 6-8 months


4) The truth about mascara is…

a) it can last for years, just keep adding baby oil to it
b) you should share it with all of your friends, especially Pink Eye Patty
c) you have to pay upwards of $40 for a decent tube
d) it should be replaced at least every 3 months


If you answered anything besides D for any of those questions then you, my friend, play it fast and loose with hygiene.

No judgement! I do the same thing!

When I realized I had some eyeshadows dating back to my high school speech & debate team days, I turned to google to see what kind of shelf like I was dealing with. Turns out? I’m gross.


Instead of finding out that makeup never ever ever goes bad (like I not so secretly hoped…), I found different items need to be changed out with some regularity. Whoops.

I compiled recommendations from various google searches into the chart below. Clearly we should all familiarize ourselves with it. Our skin and its biomes will thank us.

Screen Shot 2015-01-17 at 8.38.53 AM

What’s the oldest product in your bag? It’s okay to share. Safe space.