Two times. In over 45 years of courtroom practice mostly in Boulder and with making 8,000 court appearance, I have been censored and chastised  only twice, and by two (excellent) Judges. Two times! And for the same reason.

I’ve always said that if you learn from someone else’s mistake, you are lucky. Usually I need to make a mistake twice to learn from it. No one ever said, “You learn from your mistake.” The expression is ” You learn from your mistakes.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

One District Court Judge, Richard McClean,  and one County Court Judge, David Torke interrupted my cross examinations to critically comment on my choice of words. Both Judges, educationally without being pedantic, cut me off and pointed out the error of my ways. Each judge was so perfect, so amazing, so hysterically funny in their delivery that to this day I wonder if they were lying in wait.

My gut is clear that Judge Torke shared his handling of my obstreperous behavior, and that Judge McClean was lying in wait. If so, I made the day for both judges. . I’m still telling this story, and I suspect that they are too. Both delivered their brilliant rebuke perfectly with straight faces.

I learned, after these to chances to be schooled by the judges, Lawyers absolutely cannot  say “pissed off” in court. You heard it. Pissed off. It is a phrase not permitted in a courtroom.

Boulder District Court Judge McClean, a truly fair and brilliant jurist, with his calling me out, was not to be challenged.  A lawyer on the record simply cannot say ”pissed off”.

The District Attorney used  the words “penis”, “vagina,” and “intercourse,” without interruption, and the DA was just getting started! I was of course defense counsel for the citizen-accused.  The DA had not yet gotten to the knife part of the case.  I always hated the knife part. It was never good for my clients. I was shocked by the DA’s obscene, pornographic questioning of their witness in the guise of direct examination.The Judges merely continued taking notes, without even looking up or starting to breath hard.

In Judge Torke’s court, I asked a witness  “were you pissed off when this all happened?”  I was deprived of my answer and of my connection with the witness when the Judge interrupted.  Judge Torke said “Mr. Frieling, with your fine education you have a wider vocabulary than that.” . “Sorry your honor. I’ll rephrase”.

Judge McClean, also fair and incredibly brilliant, with a straight face, effecting an expression of childish innocence, inquired. “Mr. Frieling, Perhaps that is  some scatological term with which I am unfamiliar?” “Sorry Your Honor. I’ll rephrase.”

After being censored, I of course thanked both of these venerable Judges for the valuable lesson. In all honesty, I gratefully received the lesson, wanting , as always, to do a better job, and to continue to effectively avoid being embarrassed in court in front of my clients.

I offer the following alternatives to “pissed off” in the hope that we shall banish, in perpetuity, this abomination of phrasing from proper English.

Pissed Off Wife After Husband Married Her Daughter, Held A Firearm To Her Head, And Had Not Yet Hurt The Dog

“Mr. Witness, when my client, Mr. Defendant, had a shotgun to your wife’s head, having just shot your dog, raped your cat, and married your daughter, were you perturbed? Were you mad? Angry? Incensed? Enraged? Were you  acrimonious, or irked? How about irritated, livid, seething, furious, explosive, or peeved? It’s true, is it not, that you were violent, riled, warlike, vindictive, and sore? Would it be fair to say that you were feeling hostile, miffed and venomous? Judge, would you please remind this witness that he is under oath? In fact, you were garrulous, raging, bellicose, obstreperous, and obsequious, weren’t you? No? You deny all of this? What then were you feeling? What? You say you were “pissed off”?  Me: “I’m not sure I heard that. Would you please repeat that for the record?”

“Mr. Frieling!” Yes your Honor.

Lensworth. Shared Knowledge Is Power

Lenny Frieling Pen Of Justice

• Multi-published and widely syndicated blogger and author.
• Most recently published by Amazon, his first book, "Lensworth"a book of his prize-winning photos.
• University lectures at University. of Colorado, Boulder, Denver University Law School, Univ. of New Mexico, Las Vegas NM, and many other schools at all levels. Numerous lectures for the NORML Legal Committee
• Former Judge
• Media work, including starring in episodes of Fox’s Power of Attorney, well in excess of many hundreds media interviews, appearances, articles, and podcasts, including co-hosting Time For Hemp for two years.
• Life Member, NORML Legal Committee, Distinguished Counsel Circle.
• Photographer of the Year, AboutBoulder 2023
• First Chair and Originator of the Colorado Bar Association’s Cannabis Law Committee, a National first.
• Previous Chair, Boulder Criminal Defense Bar (8 years)
• Twice chair Executive Counsel, Colorado Bar Association Criminal Law Section
• Life Member, Colorado Criminal Defense Bar
• Board Member Emeritus, Colorado NORML, and prior chair during legalization, as well as pre and post legalization
• Chair, Colorado NORML, 7 years including during the successful effort to legalize recreational pot in Colorado
• Senior Counsel Emeritus to the Boulder Law firm Dolan + Zimmerman LLP : (720)-610-0951
• Board member, Author, and Editor for Criminal Law Articles for the Colorado Lawyer, primary publication of the Colorado Bar Assoc. 7 Years, in addition to having 2 Colorado Lawyer cover photos, and numerous articles for the Colorado Lawyer monthly publication.
• http://www.Lfrieling.com