Stop me if you have heard this story before.  A young team with playoff potential trades their best player, fires their General Manager, fails to develop their pitching staff, and eventually ends up 32.5 games out of first place with a record of 74-87.

Meanwhile, ownership cries about the woes of being in a small market environment, defends himself by stating that his team has the 11^th highest payroll in the major leagues, and fans exit the gates as soon as “last call” is announced.

It started with Matt Holliday leaving back in 2008, then Troy Tulowitzki in 2015. DJ LeMahieu left for a batting title in 2019, and most recently, Nolan Arenado took his talents to the St. Louis Cardinals.

And now Colorado Rockies fans are supposed to believe that history won’t repeat itself despite their best player potentially leaving for free agency, the General Manager position currently being run by an intern, and again, the fact that the Rockies finished 32.5 games out of first place!

Wait.  The General Manager was an interim GM, not an intern?  Same difference.

Here are five ideas to remake, rebuild, and rejuvenate the Colorado Rockies.

• Owner Dick Monfort may have a point that his market base is considered small to midsize and thus, is forced to spend his dollars accordingly. So, what about changing ownership and becoming the next version of the Yankees or Dodgers?

If the Rockies could force a sell to an owner with unlimited resources like Mark Cuban, Jeff Bezos, or Elon Musk, it could be a real game-changer.

Can you imagine it?  The Cuban All-Stars, Colorado Amazons, or even the Denver Musketeers.

• Trade Trevor Story and some future prospects for Toronto’s Bo Bichette. Trevor Story was supposed to be our star, but ended up with less RBIs than CJ Cron, Ryan McMahon, and Charlie Blackmon.  Bo Bichette had more homeruns (29), RBIs (102), and stolen bases (25) than Story while batting .298.  And they both play shortstop.

CLEARWATER, FLORIDA – MARCH 20: Bo Bichette #11 of the Toronto Blue Jays rounds first after hitting a double off of Matt Moore of the Philadelphia Phillies in the first inning during a spring training game on March 20, 2021 at BayCare Ballpark in Clearwater, Florida. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)

Most importantly, Bo would easily become a fan favorite as the son of former Colorado Rockies great, Dante Bichette.

Furthermore, the Rockies could pick up Taijuan Walker from the Mets, Luis Castillo from the Reds, and try to convince Armando Galarraga to come out of retirement at the age of 39.

Then they would have Walker, Galarraga, Castillo (close enough), and Bichette.

• Go out to the free agent/trade market and get your next FACE of the FRANCHISE! With Arenado gone, it is time to get the next Shohei Ohtani, Juan Soto, or Fernando Tatis Jr.

What do those three players have in common?  They all played for teams that finished under .500.  But at least it is more exciting than cheering for Austin Gomber.

• The new MLB believes it is okay to hit .240 as long as you can hit 20 HRs. And yet, Yonathan Daza, Josh Fuentes, and Garrett Hampson can barely do either.

McMahon (23 HRs/86 RBIs), Story (24 HRs/75 RBIs), Brandon Rodgers (15 HRs in 100 games), and Cron (28 HRs/92 RBIs) make a solid infield for next season.  And Charlie Blackmon should return in right just so the crowd can sing Lose your love…TO-NIGHTTT!!!!!  But it is time to upgrade the talent level, and the power.

• 33. That is the Earned Run Average (ERA) of the ace of our pitching staff this year, Kyle Freeland.  Technically, German Marquez should be our ace, but his ERA is 4.40.  Antonio Senzatela comes with a 4.42 ERA, followed by Jon Gray at 4.59.

And if the Rockies are fortunate enough to hold the lead heading into the ninth?  In comes our closer, Carlos Estevez, along with his 4.38 ERA.

I’m no Math major, but if the pitching staff all has an ERA over 4.00, while averaging just 3.55 runs per game on the road, doesn’t that equate to about A CRAP TON of losses?

Bill (The Intern) Schmidt may want to address that if he makes it to the next pay period.

Just to recap the 2021 MLB season.  The San Francisco Giants won 107 games, the Los Angeles Dodgers won 106, Trevor Story is probably gone, CJ Cron was only signed to a one-year contract, the Rockies finished 32.5 games out of first, we have no full-time General Manager, Nolan Arenado hit 34 HRs and added 105 RBIs on his way to the playoffs, and we got….. Austin Gomber.

Sounds about right.

Images via theatlantic.com, 9news.com, mlb.com, nytimes.com, si.com, sportscasting.com

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