I walked into a firestorm. A company bleeding a million dollars a month. Fear hung thick in the air. Posturing. Finger-pointing. The energy of self-protection, not progress.

Nobody trusted anybody. Everyone had a reason why it wasn’t their fault. And if I’m honest? I’ve been there too. Maybe you have, too.

No one sets out to be a Victim, a Rescuer, or a Persecutor—but when the environment isn’t what we want it to be, we default to protection. We react instead of lead.

The Victim? It’s the part of us that feels stuck, frustrated, convinced we have no real power to change things. Complaining felt safer than taking action because action meant risk. Do you recognize that feeling? The Rescuer? It’s the part of us that rushes in to fix everything, believing that if we just work harder, things will finally feel right. But all it did was drain the energy—and reinforce the idea that others couldn’t step up themselves. The Persecutor? It’s the part of us that gets frustrated, tired of the dysfunction, calling people out—sometimes just to feel a sense of control. “Sometimes, I just wanted someone to get it right so I wouldn’t have to carry the weight.”

Do you see yourself in any—or all—of these? These are natural human reactions. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s protection. It’s what we do when the environment isn’t what we need it to be.

But here’s the thing: protection isn’t leadership. And when we stay locked in these roles, we stop moving. The mission—if there even was one—gets buried under fear and self-preservation.

My partner and I didn’t fix it with spreadsheets or town halls. We led differently. We stepped in with raw, primal authenticity. We told the truth. We called people forward. We created space where trust could breathe again. And within months, the culture turned.

It wasn’t magic. It was choice. Moment by moment, breath by breath, choice by choice.

The Cost of False Harmony

I walked into a Boulder tech company where every conversation was wrapped in pleaser energy. “Yes” was the only answer. Meetings were smooth, polite, agreeable—and completely stagnant.

Nobody was telling the truth. Sales were stalled. Decision-making was sluggish. The unspoken rule? Keep the peace, even if it means avoiding the real issues.

False harmony doesn’t create results. It creates a slow, silent decay. A team so focused on being agreeable that they forget to be effective.

So we started small. We built trust. We made it safe for people to say what they really thought. To challenge without attacking, to listen without defensiveness, to speak without fear.

And the moment they let go of keeping the peace, they got what they actually wanted—real movement, real collaboration, real progress.

That’s authentic leadership.

And now it’s your turn.

Choosing clarity over comfort. Truth over appearances. Purpose over protection.

The Wall of Vulnerability

We all build it. Some walls are thick with control—micromanaging, over-explaining, proving we belong. Some walls are made of silence—staying small, not saying what needs to be said. Others come with force—frustration, cutting people down before they can cut us first.

But vulnerability? That’s the only way through. It’s not weakness. It’s the raw power of saying what’s real, without knowing how it’ll land. It’s trusting that truth is stronger than protection.

So where’s your wall? Is it built from needing to be right? From avoiding the hard conversations? From never asking for help?

Because trust isn’t built by holding the wall—it’s built by lowering it.

To really get the science on why we care, check out Brene Brown’s classic Ted Talk

1. Trust or Defend?

Pause here. Take a breath. Before we get into “trust,” think about your own leadership right now.

➡ Ever notice how some people open up around you and others stay distant? ➡ Some days, the team clicks—other days, it feels like pulling teeth. Why? ➡ When you speak, do people really hear you, or just nod along?

The way people move around you tells you everything. If they trust you, they follow. If they don’t, they comply at best—or resist at worst.

🚫 The Default: “I have to prove myself.”
🔥 The Primal Choice: “I have nothing to prove. I have everything to give.”

When leaders operate from fear, they control, hide, or perform. But trust isn’t built on perfection—it’s built on vulnerability.

➡ Try this today: The next time you feel the urge to explain, justify, or sugarcoat—pause. Instead, say: “Here’s where I stand. Here’s what I see. What do you think?”

2. Engage or Avoid?

Think about the last time you walked away from a hard conversation. Maybe it was a team member underperforming. Maybe it was your boss, and you didn’t feel like dealing with the fallout.

➡ What did avoiding that moment cost you? ➡ What did it cost them?

🚫 The Default: “I don’t want to start a fight.”
🔥 The Primal Choice: “I wade into conflict with healthy challenge in mind, standing in purpose without persecution.”

You know that thing you’re avoiding? The conversation, the tough feedback, the elephant in the room? That’s your leadership moment.

➡ Try this today: Instead of dodging tension, lean in. Speak the truth. Say, “I want to get this right. Can we have an honest conversation?”

3. Win or Listen?

What about the times when you don’t avoid the conversation—you charge into it, fully armed and ready to win?

🔥 The rush of proving your point. The certainty that you’re right. The frustration that no one else sees it.

But here’s the thing—if you go in swinging, people dig in or shut down. Nobody actually moves.

➡ Think about a time when you were so sure you were right that you stopped listening. What happened? ➡ Did the conversation get better, or did the wall get higher? ➡ What mattered more—being right, or getting the right outcome?

🚫 The Default: “I have to win this argument.”
🔥 The Primal Choice: “I have to understand before I can be understood.”

➡ Try this today: The next time you feel yourself escalating, pause. Instead of doubling down, say: “Help me see what I’m missing.”

Watch what shifts.

Your Leadership Challenge

This isn’t theory. It’s real. You will lead today—one way or another.

🔥 So, what’s the next move?

➡ Right now—choose one shift. ➡ One primal decision. ➡ One moment where you lead instead of react.

Wake. Lead. Win.

Get to know more of my coaching philosophy ‘here’ and why Boulder fits for me

Kate Galt Primal Leadership Business Coaching

Kate Galt coaches and challenges leaders at all levels— from entrepreneurs to seasoned executives— to sharpen their vision, articulate key messages so they connect and inspire, and make decisive, strategic moves that drive real business growth. Based in Boulder, Colorado, she works with individuals and teams to strengthen leadership, improve team dynamics, and achieve measurable results.

Her coaching is rooted in Primal Leadership—because the strongest leaders move with instinct, command presence without force, and create unshakable trust through raw, real connection.

Like any driven person, Kate is always figuring out how to do it all—running a business, raising two kids with her equally involved husband, and still making time for the adventure that brought her to Colorado in 1998. Whether it’s snowboarding, mountain biking, or chasing an ultimate frisbee, she knows the best leadership isn’t just learned—it’s lived.

The bottom line? Kate makes good leaders great.

Curious about what makes her coaching style so impactful? Book a call and experience it for yourself at CoachTheLeaders.com.