A combination of a journalism assignment at the Oregon Dunes and the recreational usage of psilocybin mushrooms led Frank Herbert to write “Dune,” a sprawling, five book saga. Beloved by many, they featured intergalactic warfare, giant worm-related destruction, and trenchant criticism of politics and religion. On the one hand, you’d expect that as a lifelong genre dweeb and sci-fi nerd, I would have been into these books. On the other hand, those are some seriously long-ass books. I put off reading them, and if you know anything about me, I have some god tier procrastination skills. Years... Read More

Quick, without consulting the internet, what kind of a personality does Ethan Hunt have? *crickets* Maybe you’re wondering, “Who, exactly, is that?” That’s the name of Tom Cruise’s character in the Mission: Impossible franchise. Though…”character” is perhaps not quite the right word, as the running joke for many years has been that Tom Cruise is playing Impossible Mission Force Agent Tom Cruise. Is the problem that the character of Ethan Hunt isn’t sharply defined? Consider that Indiana Jones is a guy who’s always in over his head and getting out of situations through more than... Read More

Let’s say you get the idea stuck in your craw that you wanted to write or direct a summer blockbuster. To do that, you’ll want to study the best of the best. What you don’t want is something stupid, cynical, or pandering. Look, I get it. For many of us, the summer movie season is a nightmare. We’re ritually bludgeoned with special effects, broad humor, and cloying animation. Ask the average filmgoer, and they might tell you that summer movies aren’t even intended to be good. They exist to move a franchise forward or sell toys. The average filmgoer might even think that an entertaining... Read More

You have an opinion on Tom Cruise. You might be an obsessive cineaste like me, or you might be a casual filmgoer. But I guarantee you that, when I bring up the man formerly known as Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, a person who’s coming up on 40 years in the movie business, you likely aren’t responding with a hearty “Meh.” For a while, a long while there, he was the biggest movie star in the world.* The 80’s and 90’s were his time. Go take a gander at his IMDB page, and I’m willing to bet that anyone can find a movie he’s in that they like. He racked up some well-deserved Academy Award... Read More

  Imagine, if you will, a brand-new car by Tesla. The world’s top engineers have been brought in to create a vehicle with maximum acceleration and driving range and the apex of functionality. The world’s most creative designers have crafted butter-soft leather around the steering wheel, seats that are the height of ergonomic perfection without sacrificing comfort, and a control panel that’s intuitive and informative. During a press conference to unveil this automotive marvel to the world, Elon Musk invites the media to witness a test drive. The driver sits in the vehicle,... Read More

Right, guys, time for another thought experiment! Imagine you’re a scientist. You’re part of a team on an alien planet or a space station, and you have come into contact with a non-terrestrial-based lifeform; i.e. an alien. You are within close physical proximity of the creature. You have no idea about its biology, capabilities, or motivations. Should you: Pet it Not pet it Obviously, the correct answer is #2. I’m not saying you should take the George W. Bush approach and thoughtlessly annihilate anything you don’t understand, I’m just saying a teaspoonful of caution... Read More

Not everyone should follow their dreams. I know, I’m an absolute creep for saying so. We live in a society that pushes self-actualization, and if you just believe in yourself and follow your bliss, everything will work out. But here’s the thing. If, in your personal Venn diagram, talent overlaps with passion, then by all means, carpe the hell out of that diem. But what if you’re no good at the thing you love? But wait! Before we start reflexively sneering at Millenials and loathsome helicopter parents, we need to remember that there’s a long and proud history of fools,... Read More

There’s this theory I’ve had for a while now. I’ve shared it with friends, but now it’s time to share it with all of you. I believe that international superstar Tom Cruise is either a fiendishly clever performance artist, or a deeply depressed man. When he makes other films, he’s a talented and driven performer. But the Mission: Impossible movies are different. The entire point of the Mission: Impossible series is for Cruise to try to kill himself in the most wildly elaborate way possible. Consider this. When Cruise starred in the first Mission: Impossible in... Read More