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3 Signs You’re Dating A Cuffer

Detecting Cuffers

Image courtesy of Pixabay

The Urban Dictionary defines cuffing season as follows: “During the fall and winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves desiring to be ‘cuffed’ or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.” A simpler definition is singles who venture out looking for someone with whom to spend the winter and dump them before spring arrives.

Recently get into a relationship? Here’s how to tell it’s the real thing or just a winter fling.

Things are moving too fast.  If you started your relationship around the mid-fall mark — don’t freak out and assume it’s just a cuffing season fling. Observe how fast the relationship is going and ask yourself if you are getting too close, too fast. If you are, that’s cuffing behavior. If the relationship is moving at a normal or even slow pace, you can be sure that what you have going is real.

He makes plans for the spring.  Sorry guys, but we’re on to you. If a man isn’t willing to make plans with someone he’s seeing, there is literally no future with him.  If he brings up things the two of you can do in the spring, he is thinking about you as long-term relationship material and not a winter fling. Do the two of you share excitement over what life will be like when the snow finally melts? Do you talk about picnics, happy hour on the patio, and hikes you want to take? If he’s not making plans, he’s a straight up cuffer.

Your person is a seriously serial monogamist.  If the person you are dating has been in multiple long-term relationships, you are likely not going to last past the winter. Why? This pattern is more than a product of the ever-fickle dating culture, it’s a common trend and social phenomenon called “Seasonal Dating Disorder” (SDD). Particularly common in twenty-something daters, many singles who display a pattern of serially dating are unable to commit.

If you think you or someone you know might be suffering from SDD, here’s a check list to confirm:

  1. You can’t bear the thought of being alone over the holidays and put a herculean effort into finding a partner.
  1. Within three months of dating you start to feel bored or trapped in the relationship and start finding excuses to spend less time with your partner.
  2. The idea of being single fills you with relief after a few months and you break up or provoke your partner break up with you.
  3. You have a history of this behavior.
Andrea Groth Wellbeing Detective

Andrea wants to live in a world where the neighborhoods are walkable, bike lanes are plentiful, and the food is fresh, delicious and readily available.
A 20-year veteran of the health and wellness industry, she started her career in the fitness industry while earning a master’s degree in Exercise Science and Health Promotion, and then on to the burgeoning field of worksite wellness. Andrea has competed in collegiate level soccer, worked as a personal trainer, fitness instructor, wellness coach, and master trainer, climbed 14ers, and completed cycling centuries and metric centuries. All of these experiences give her the opportunity to view well-being from many different perspectives.
When she’s not helping others to be their healthiest self, you can find her at a farm to table restaurant, down dogging at the yoga studio, or experiencing the Colorado landscape on a bicycle, snowshoes, cross country skis or on foot.

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