ALL-STAR CJ CRON – AND WHAT THE C AND J STAND FOR

It makes sense that C.J Cron has gone virtually unnoticed for the last nine years. The first baseman/DH spent the first four years of his major league career in the shadows of Mike Trout and Albert Pujois in Anaheim. The next three years were spent buried in the obscurity of the Tampa Bay Rays, Minnesota Twins, and Detroit Tigers.

After batting just .190 for the Tigers, and with limited options, Cron found himself signing a minor league contract with the Colorado Rockies that happened to include an invitation to Spring Training. Making the major league roster was quite the accomplishment but beating out players like Josh Fuentes and Greg Bird hardly makes you a household name.

Cron finished the 2021 season hitting .281 with a team-leading 28 HRs and 92 RBIs. But the lone Rockies representative at the All-Star Game that year was pitcher German Marquez along with his pedestrian 7-6 record and 3.59 ERA.

The 31-year-old was rewarded with a two-year/$14.5 million contract, but it was obvious that C.J. Cron needed a public relations campaign to get some serious name recognition. After all – nobody even knew what the C and the J in C.J. Cron stood for?

I remember taking things into my own hands that year as I suggested three name-bolstering ideas for Cron. The first was to change his walk-up song to “I Feel for You,” by Chaka Khan (1984), and then convince those in attendance to yell, “Chaka Cron…Chaka Cron…”. The next was to pen an article entitled – C.J. (Comic)Cron – Our First Edition Superhero. Finally, I suggested the nickname C.J. Chronic – because he’s that dope!

That’s when I was told that C.J. Cron is pronounced \Cron\, like Crone. And not Cron…like Lebron.

On Sunday, C.J Cron was selected to his first MLB All-Star Game as he is currently hitting .291 with 20 HRs and 67 RBIs. And yet, we still have no idea what the C and J stand for?

A few suggestions.

• Cousin Jesus – Cron doesn’t quite walk on water, but after leading the Rockies in HRs, RBIs, hits, runs, and slugging percentage…he’s pretty damn close.

• Cu Jo – Like the killer St. Bernard from the classic Stephen King novel. Cron is a dog and he’s making GMs around the league drool.

• Cranberry Juice – He’s the cure no matter how painful your batter infection is.

• Chipper Jones – Like Willie Mays Hayes, Chipper Jones Cron has a nice ring to it. C.J. could do a lot worse than being named after a Hall of Famer with 468 HRs, a .303 lifetime batting average, and a retired jersey.

• Captain Jack – Because he hits a lot harder than Johnny Depp, and for way less money.

• Cajun Jambalaya – Because he’s always hot at the plate.

• Cracker Jack – Cron shows up to every game, his swing is sweet, and he’s reasonably priced compared to everything else at the ballpark.

• Captain Jagermeister – Because the thought of Cron leaving for free agency makes me sick.

• Carl Jung – The great Swiss Psychologist once said, “Life really does begin at Forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” Cron’s life began at age thirty-one….but same concept.

• Casey Jean – A tribute to Pamela Anderson’s character from Baywatch. Both C.J.’s are beautiful to watch, run in slow motion, and are often asked to come to the rescue.

• Can Jog – They could call him Can Jog Cron. He can’t run (only ten career stolen bases), doesn’t walk much, but with 48 HRs in just a year and a half with the Rockies, he sure can jog.

• Chief Justice – Because pitching to Cron is also a bad decision.

Or how about we just go with C.J and his Cronies.

• And finally, Charter Jet – With a record of 38-49, little chance of making the playoffs anytime soon, and an organization that has sent away Trevor Story, Nolan Arenado, Matt Holiday, and most good players when it is time to get paid. Charter Jet Cron will most likely be on the first flight out of here when his contract is up in 2023.

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