Okay, let’s see if I have this correct.

Jarrett Stidham almost went to the Super Bowl, Bill Belichick failed to make the Hall of Fame, and Shedeur Sanders is a Pro Bowler?

New England is back in the Super Bowl again, everyone hates Bad Bunny, and Sam Darnold is the MVP favorite?

The Winter Olympics have the USA competing against the world, the NBA All-Star game have the USA competing against the world, and the NFL Pro Bowl have the US competing against each other in dodgeball?

What the heck is going on here?

• Despite the New England Patriots making it back to the big game, the biggest news of the past week had to be 6-time Super Bowl winning coach, Bill Belichick, failing to make the NFL Hall of Fame on his first time on the ballot.

Credit via People.com

For what it’s worth, the 73-year-old Belichick is dating a 24-year-old former cheerleader. That’s Hall of Fame in my book!

• As for the Patriots, Mike Vrabel has the team back in the Super Bowl after taking over for a team that won just four games last season.

Although, beating the Broncos with Jarrett Stidham is like beating the JV Girl’s squad. (Assuming the team spots you seven points by throwing the ball backwards).

• I still can’t believe that Sam Darnold will be quarterbacking the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl. That being said, he’s my bet for Most Valuable Player.

I’m just not sure for which team.

Credit via The Boston Globe

• Don’t get me wrong. Sam Darnold has been terrific during these playoffs, but after he sh*t the bed last season with the Vikings and led the league in turnovers (20) this year, I’m just waiting for Darnold to go, well, Sam Darnold.

Credit via Medium

• Considering Darnold’s propensity for turning the ball over and the dominance of the Seattle defense, they may want to go “Bobby Boucher,” and just knee down all game.

• The Super Bowl halftime show should be interesting, but all this political stuff about not watching Bad Bunny is so dumb. Forget Bad Bunny, I just hope the commercials are Mad Funny!

• I mean, whether you’re a Trump supporter or not, he does plan on sending ICE to Italy for the Winter Olympic Games. And I didn’t even know he was into figure skating.

• In other news, former CU Buff Shedeur Sanders was named to the NFL Pro Bowl squad. Apparently, Sanders beat out Jarrett Stidham, three guys in Concussion Protocol, and an intoxicated Diego Pavia to get there.

• Speaking of Pavia, I’m not sure what’s shrinking faster. Diego’s chances of making the NFL, or his listed height, anytime he goes in for a measurement.

Credit via Spotify

• It’s a valiant effort to bring in fans by selecting Shedeur, but nobody watches the Pro Bowl anymore. Halftime could be Bad Bunny, a Playboy Bunny, and the Easter Bunny, and still, nobody’s watching.

• What even is the Pro Bowl anymore? In a country that is so divisive, so angry, and so violent, how come our gladiators are playing no-tackle, seven-on-seven, two-hand touch?

I see tougher matchups at the Pickleball court next to the Senior Center.

• Voters kept Belichick from the Hall of Fame, got Shedeur into the Pro Bowl, and added Skimo (Ski Mountaineering) to the Winter Olympics. I don’t know about the primaries, but I don’t think people are taking this seriously anymore.

• Breaking news! Diego Pavia just measured in at 5’4.

Forget suing for another year of football in the NCAAs. At that size, Pavia should be suing to play another year of Pop Warner.

• The NBA is experimenting with a new All-Star Game format, USA vs. the World.

Hey Adam Silver, the World team has Nikola Jokic (Serbia), Luka Doncic (Spain), Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (Canada), Giannis Anteokounmpo (Greece), and Victor Wembanyama (France). Maybe we should start with USA vs. third-world countries. You know, a little less developed.

• The new format will include a three-team round-robin tournament featuring 8-player teams and four 12-minute games.

It should be fun watching players on restricted minutes play in a game with restricted minutes. Glad no one cares.

• If I’m Lebron, I tell the other All-Stars that I’m retiring after the season and to set him up for the MVP and the win. Then after the game, tell them “just playin”.”

• Injuries have really taken their toll on the NBA All-Star Game. With players like Anthony Davis (Dallas), Trae Young (Washington), Jason Tatum (Boston), and Tyrese Halliburton (Indiana) all out with health issues, the NBA may have to fill Giannis Anteokounmpo’s spot with Shedeur Sanders.

• Speaking of Giannis and Davis, the NBA Trade Deadline is on Thursday.

Do you know who could really use a point guard like James Harden. Wait, that sentence was supposed to end with a question mark, because I don’t.

• I think Zion Williamson should be traded for Ja Morant, Jordan Poole to the Hornets for LaMelo Ball, and Giannis to the Warriors for Jonathan Kuminga and draft picks.

Like the NFL coaching carousel, the same faces at new places won’t amount to much. But at least they don’t have to worry about the Rooney Rule.

• Finally, in baseball, the Dodgers added outfielder Kyle Tucker and relief pitcher Edwin Diaz, the Mets added shortstop Bo Bichette, the Blue Jays added starting pitcher Dylan Cease, and the Rockies traded three minor league prospects for a player to be named later.

To clarify, I have that player’s name written down somewhere, but it’s not like anyone’s ever heard of him.

Images via facebook, people.com, medium, the boston globe, spotify

Alan Tapley Colorado Sports & Culture Writer

Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years. His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship