We’re now seven installments into the Alien franchise. Of those seven, I think they break up into two extremely loose categories. The first category primarily has a focus on sci-fi horror, which I like to call “WE’RE GONNA DIE!” movies. For example:

• Alien is “We’re space truckers and WE’RE GONNA DIE!”
• Aliens is “We’re space Marines and WE’RE GONNA DIE!”
• Alien 3 is “We’re convicts on a prison planet and WE’RE GONNA DIE!”
• Alien Resurrection is “We’re a clone/android/space pirates and WE’RE GONNA DIE!”

Is there anything wrong with that template? Nah. While it can sometimes feel a little musty, I largely enjoy seeing thinly drawn characters introduced to their maker by a biomechanoid killing machine. That brings us to the second category, which has more of a philosophical focus on humanity’s place in a universe that’s indifferent at best and hostile at worst. These are, “But what do the biomechanoid killing machines mean?” movies. For example:

• Prometheus is “We’re scientists investigating the origins of life, so what do the xenomorphic killing machines mean?”
• Alien: Covenant is “We’re colonists who found a suspiciously useful world and a suspiciously helpful android, so what do the xenomorphic killing machines mean?”

The seventh and most recent offering is Alien: Romulus, and if I had to briefly categorize the kind of movie it is, it’s, “We’re YA characters and WE’RE GONNA DIE!”

We’re introduced to Rain Carradine (Cailee Spaeny), a young woman stuck on the mining planet Jackson’s Star. To be frank, her luck sucks. Both of her parents are dead. She’s an indentured servant of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. Right as she expects to finish up her work contract with the Company, a disinterested rep tells her the contract has been extended another seven years. 

At least Rain has Andy (David Jonsson). He’s a sweet synthetic human who was programmed by Rain’s father with an exhaustive list of dad jokes and a directive to do whatever is best for Rain. They love each other in their way, but when Rain’s future is unexpectedly carpet bombed by the Company, it looks like she’s out of options.

That is, until she isn’t. Rain and Tyler (Archie Renaux) used to be a thing, and warm feelings exist between the two of them. He reaches out to her and tells her he has an idea and something that looks like a plan. If they could escape to the planet Yvaga, they would have a far better standard of living. They would no longer live under the yoke of an uncaring multigalactic corporation. Yet space being what it is creates a snag in the plan, since Yvaga is a journey of several years. 

Tyler has discovered a derelict space station is orbiting their world. On it are allegedly a number of cryogenic stasis tubes. The team simply needs to nick the tubes, plug in space-nav, put themselves to sleep, and they’ll be in orbit over a new world before they know it. It’s a half hour of work. Rain, Andy, and Tyler head off, accompanied by Tyler’s sister Kay (Isabela Merced), Tyler’s dickish cousin Bjorn (Spike Fearn), and the unflappable pilot Navarro (Aileen Wu). The half hour of work turns out to be a lot more complicated when they discover the space station is already occupied, and the occupants are extremely unfriendly.

Director Fede Alvarez deeply, deeply loves the Alien franchise. That’s both very good & very bad. Make no mistake, Alvarez is a damn good director, particularly when it comes to pacing and setpieces. The first half of Romulus takes its time, but there’s a sense of growing menace. When the second half kicks in, we have an express elevator to Hell going down, to quote the late and lamented Private Hudson. Along with the speed, Alvarez stages his action sequences with great creativity and aplomb. I direct you to a chase involving a dozen facehuggers, as well as a sequence involving zero gravity and floating clouds of acid. Perhaps best of all is the set design. The film takes place somewhere between the events of Alien and Aliens, and the production design feels like a place that has evolved over time. A place where people lived and died.

That’s a lot of good news, right? Well, the bad news is that there’s an absolutely titanic amount of fan service. If you liked creatures being sucked out of an air lock, the line “Get away from her, you bitch!” the vaguely buzzsaw-featured air vent doors, and so much more from the franchise, you’ll love this film. Alvarez has gone back to basics and made a balls to the wall horror movie. It’s cool, but he so often surrounds it with callbacks to stuff we’ve seen before. It’s as if Alvarez and his co-screenwriter Rodo Sayagues are gleefully tormenting the characters, and occasionally looking at us and saying, “Don’t those other movies whip ass?” They do, they do whip ass! But I like it much better when Alvarez and Sayagues are adding to the lore instead of commenting on what’s already there.

To get a sense of the characters, I want you to first imagine the cast of your favorite young adult movie or novel. Got it? Now imagine them being chucked into a meat grinder. Most of the relatively small cast exists to die horribly, which means they don’t get much in the way of meaty parts to dig into. Having said that, let’s talk about Cailee Spaeny and David Jonsson. Spaeny’s Rain joins the grand tradition of women having to deal with a highly unpleasant situation. I liked her decision to deliver a subtle performance. We got the sense that in Alien, Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley experienced her first truly awful situation, and found a core of steel within her. Rain, on the other hand, seems to have been put in a dozen hairy situations. She’s not a badass, just someone who grits her teeth and deals with the unpleasantness. I was also highly impressed with David Jonsson as Andy. Without spoiling a few things, things change for Andy once they reach the space station. Watch how Jonsson plays the role, and how he plays the same person before and after having received specific information. This franchise has always valued strong performances, and this entry acquits itself nicely.

Two things can be true at the same time. I had an absolute blast with Alien: Romulus, with its nearly impeccable craftsmanship, Alvarez’s strong direction, and the performances of Jonsson and Spaeny. I also wish the franchise would go in different directions, since there are other stories to mine in this universe, no? You could do a doomed romance amid a xenomorph infestation, a Succession-esque drama about an upstart corporation challenging Weyland-Yutani, or a thriller about the member of a xenomorph retrieval team desperately trying to convince his teammates that they’re walking into a massacre. After five “WE’RE GONNA DIE!” entries, I think it’s time for the xenomorph to evolve.

Tim Brennan Movie Critic

Tim has been alarmingly enthusiastic about movies ever since childhood. He grew up in Boulder and, foolishly, left Colorado to study Communications in Washington State. Making matters worse, he moved to Connecticut after meeting his too-good-for-him wife. Drawn by the Rockies and a mild climate, he triumphantly returned and settled down back in Boulder County. He's written numerous screenplays, loves hiking, and embarrassed himself in front of Samuel L. Jackson. True story.