Understanding the basic concept of the Olympic Games seems simple. Qualify for an individual or team event, compete against other countries that are doing the same, and stand on the podium if you finish in the top three.

Understanding the difference between Olympic style handball and American handball. That’s more of a mystery.

And what is up with 3X3 basketball? I’ve watched plenty of Ice Cube’s Big3 League, but the Olympic version is different.

I have questions about scoring difficulty in Diving and Gymnastics, the point of running over a wall and jumping into water during the Steeplechase, and who the heck chose Breakdancing to be added to the Olympic venue?

But those are just the little questions.

Let’s take a look at the 15 most important questions about the 2024 Summer Olympics – that I know we are all thinking.

Credit via IMDb

1) How is Fencing still an Olympic sport? Olympic Basketball brought us Lebron James, Scottie Scheffler took home gold in Olympic Golf, and Novak Djokovic did the same in Olympic Tennis. Excluding Inigo Montoya, Fencing has nobody.

2) Is that really the best 3X3 Men’s Basketball team the USA could find? With all due respect to Jimmer Fredette, Canyon Barry, Dylan Travis, and Kareem Maddox – Kyrie Irving, Ja Morant, Chet Holmgren, and Zion Williamson would have probably had more success. Because they actually played in the NBA.

On a side note, Ja Morant could’ve made the Olympics in three events. Men’s Basketball, 3X3, or according to his social media posts – Olympic Shooting.

3) Speaking of Olympic Shooting, why is there only Rifle, Pistol, and Shotgun? Swimming has 37 events, Track and Field has 48. With all the guns that are made, especially here in the United States, shouldn’t there be about 250 events or so?

4) Considering all the allegations implying that the Chinese National Team is doping, shouldn’t there be four spots on the podium instead of three – just in case?

Snoop Dogg on drugs is funny. Chinese athletes on drugs, not so funny.

Credit via NBC

5) How is it that Sha’Carri Richardson smokes weed and gets banned from the previous Olympics, while Snoop Dogg smokes weed and is given the job of this year’s co-host?

6) Shouldn’t Snoop Dogg have done the commentary during the High Jump? Forget Jesse Owens in 1936, or Tommy Smith and John Carlos in 1968. The 2024 Olympics are about Surfing, Skateboarding, and today’s hip hop culture. Maybe Cardi B should’ve covered the Pole… Vault, DMX should’ve covered BMX, and Ice Cube can takeover when the Winter Games comes to Utah in 2026.

Okay, DMX died a few years ago. But archery died somewhere back in Nottingham during the 13th century, yet that stuff is still showing up at the Olympics every four years.

7) Why was Scottie Scheffler crying after winning the gold medal in Olympic Golf? Was it because he became emotional after hearing the Star-Spangled Banner – or because he was told there would be no prize money despite finishing first.

8) Should Equestrian really be an Olympic sport? Horses can jump, run, and prance – but I’ll be impressed when I see one balancing on that little podium singing the National Anthem.

If I wanted to watch men and women riding horses – I’d be at the Derby sipping a Mint Julep with a fancy hat on.

9) Is it true that Olympic Squash had to be cancelled? Apparently, a bunch of old people showed up early and converted the courts for Pickleball.

10) If a backyard sport like Badminton is in the Olympics, why isn’t Cornhole? Or how about Olympic Grilling, where everyone’s drunk uncle is a potential medal winner.

11) Are you telling me that Caitlin Clark wouldn’t have helped the Women’s 3×3 Olympic Team? With all three opponents guarding Caitlin, like they do in the WNBA, the other two teammates were bound to be open.

12) Congrats to the American Crew Team that took home gold in Olympic Rowing in the 2,000-meter Men’s Four Final. It was the first gold medal in the event since 1960. But do you think that if our rowers looked less like skinny white guys that spent a semester abroad at Oxford, and more like Micah Parsons, it wouldn’t take so long?

Credit via Wikipedia

As for the other competitors in the Olympic Rowing events. I’m not one for participation awards, but any team that is willing to risk their lives in the polluted water of the Seine River should get a lot more than just orange slices.

13) Am I the only one that thinks I could win the Olympic Pole Vault if I just had a pole that was twice as long as the other competitors? Someone should investigate that.

Credit via Express Digest

14) Am I the only one that thinks that after the years of training, sweat, and mental fortitude it takes for a sprinter to run a 9.79, they may want to take off the three-pound gold necklace that keeps slapping them in the face during each race?

15) Is Breakdancing really an Olympic sport? Fine. Consider it an event that includes talented athletes, a competition, and scores from judges. But if there are 37 Swimming events and 48 more in Track and Field, just how many events do you think there will be if dancing gets expanded? Jazz, Tap, Salsa, Bharatanatyam? Are you seriously watching the Prelims for the Cabbage Patch …

Credit via YouTube

…or just the Finals?

Images via thehoustonchronicle, imdb, nbc, Wikipedia, youtube, expressdigest

Alan Tapley The Athletic Supporter

Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years.  His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship