I need to make a couple of confessions to y’all. First, I am scared to death of chimpanzees. Absolutely terrified. You might respond to that admission with, “What’s the problem with chimps, Mr. Scaredy-cat-wussy-pants? They are adorable, and they have a genetic profile that’s 98% similar to humans.” Fine, I’ll give you that. I’ll also mention that […]

“So how did you guys meet?” If you’re in a relationship with someone, odds are you and your significant other have been asked that. To me, that anecdote is endlessly fascinating. The twists, turns, and seemingly random occurrences that bring two people* together can seem fated in retrospect, or like an enormous cosmic joke, depending […]

It’s hard to make a good movie. It’s even harder to make a good superhero movie, and Marvel Studios makes it look so easy. Through intelligence, wit, and sheer perseverance, not unlike their flagship character, they have become the gold standard in popular film entertainment. The Marvel movies stand above every other franchise, even the Star […]

Everybody’s got a personal soundtrack in their head. I think we all do it. Sure, the music is always different. You might walk into a party, your mood is up and your adrenaline is starting to rise, and Legend Has It by Run The Jewels is on a loop in your cerebral cortex. Maybe you see your […]

Hey, you! Yeah, YOU. I know you. You probably don’t go out to the movies much. Assuming you take out a second mortgage to pay for tickets and restrain yourself from murdering the jackass who simply must Snapchat through the film, what would you possibly want to see, anyway? The summer is a cinematic wasteland, populated with superheroes, […]

There’s a strong possibility that, up to the end of my days, I’ll be into monster movies. I thoroughly enjoy watching supernatural beasties fold, spindle, rend and mutilate a group of hapless nincompoops. Is it a sign of emotional immaturity on my part? Yeah, probably, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’ll willingly […]

I made it through three seasons of The Walking Dead before I tapped out. Don’t get me wrong, I love zombies. I love survivalism. I particularly love stories about societal breakdowns and how people thrive or fail in a nihilistic new environment. The problem with the aforementioned television series is that it’s got one of the most […]

You know what the real difference is between the characters of Marvel and DC? Presentation. Marvel’s heroes have feet of clay. They’re flawed and relatable. Peter Parker constantly worries about money. Tony Stark is essentially a functional alcoholic. If I gained fantastic powers or a power ring fueled by willpower, I’d still make lots of […]

During the one hour, fifty-six-minute running time of  Baywatch, a variation of a thought kept running through my head. This thought would burrow to the surface of my cerebral cortex every few minutes, and when it did, it would make me slump in my seat in disappointment. God, I wish I were watching 21 Jump Street. […]

In the universe of Star Trek, humanity is an essential part of the vast mosaic of creation, and a pioneering spirit of discovery lives on. In the universe of Star Wars, there’s a common thread of adventure, a belief that swashbuckling and derring-do will help to seize the day. In the universe of Alien, humanity is not wanted or needed. We’re […]