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Ye Olde Terrible Movie

We live in a time of great uncertainty. Our President may have committed illegal acts prior to and during his time in office. Our country is more divided than possibly ever before. The prestige of our nation rests on a knife edge. But there’s one question, above all others, that occupies the minds of virtually […]

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I Am Groot

Now that the summer movie season is upon us, we can expect to be bombarded with think pieces about superhero fatigue. These pieces will tell us that audiences are absolutely done with superhero movies in general, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in particular. But you know what? I don’t buy it. I understand the sentiment, […]

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This Movie Will Freak Out Your Grandparents

I know all of you who clicked on this link are desperate to know about my morning routine leading up to the writing of this review. Happy to oblige! I got out of bed wearing 1 pair of red moose-print pajama bottoms and 1 Prefontaine t-shirt. Teeth were brushed thoroughly (47.2% of Americans suffer from […]

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Gunfight: The Motion Picture

Let’s get something out of the way first. Despite being a strong supporter of responsible gun control, I absolutely love gunfights in movies. From John Woo’s acrobatic bullet ballets like Hard Boiled to the urban warfare in Heat, if a director can stage an action sequence involving firepower in a creative and compelling way, I’m so there. That’s where it gets […]

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All She Can Do Is Save the World

Making a good movie is monstrously difficult. First, you need a script that has compelling characters and an interesting plot. After that, you need a talented director and crew to bring the script to life and create a world that feels emotionally real. After that, you need the right actors to give the various roles energy and […]

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Grumpy Old Thieves

As obnoxious as Hollywood can get with its youth obsession, it’s nice when our elders get some love. Ordinarily, when older folks show up in a film, they’re either a wise mentor, a villain, or a wise mentor that becomes a villain. That doesn’t give them a whole lot of colors on the palette to […]

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Deus Ex Moronica

What do we mean when we talk about whitewashing? It’s a practice that’s been around since the beginning of cinema, and it’s the practice of casting white actors in roles that were either originated by non-white actors or should have been played by non-white actors. Maybe when you hear that term, you think of older films from […]

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Why Must You Pet the Alien Lifeform?

Right, guys, time for another thought experiment! Imagine you’re a scientist. You’re part of a team on an alien planet or a space station, and you have come into contact with a non-terrestrial-based lifeform; i.e. an alien. You are within close physical proximity of the creature. You have no idea about its biology, capabilities, or motivations. […]

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Stockholm Syndrome is So Romantic

I hope you’re all sitting comfortably because I’m about to lay some righteous science on you. Ready? Disney loves money. They like art and respect the occasional creation of a timeless classic, but more than anything, the House of Mouse loves the Benjamins. Even back in the day, they knew the massive value of their IP’s. That’s why […]

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All Hail the King

Sometimes a giant ape is just a giant ape. Sometimes not. If you’re a filmmaker, the trick to making a memorable creature feature is to make sure your message doesn’t overwhelm your entertainment value. Yes, you can read 1933’s King Kong as a screed about the racist fear of black sexuality. Yes, you can also read 1954’s Godzilla as […]

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