It is being called one of the biggest trades of all time.

Bigger than Shaq to the Heat (2004), Harden to the Nets (2021), or Durant to the Suns (2023).

Bigger than Michael Burry during the collapse of the housing market (2007), George Soros messing with the Bank of England (1992), and bigger than Peter Minuit trading beads to the Indigenous People to get Manhattan (1626).

Okay, maybe not that last one.

Just days before the NBA Trade Deadline, the Dallas Mavericks sent Luka Doncic, a 5-time All-Star and 5-time All-NBA First Team selection, to the Los Angeles Lakers for Anthony Davis, a 10-time All-Star, 4-time All-NBA First Team selection, and 5-time NBA All-Defensive Team selection.

The trade was complex as it involved a few additional players, some draft picks, and the Utah Jazz to make the dollars line up while working with the salary cap. But the fundamental basics of the trade were simple.

Dallas thought Luka was fat and wanted a player with front-court size and a defensive presence. The Lakers, well, couldn’t pass up on the chance to get Luka.

There was Mark Cuban, millionaires haggling, negotiating deals, loving or hating the product, and lots of hurt feelings. Like Shark Tank – but real!

A look at the Doncic-Davis trade and the rest of the NBA as the trade deadline looms near.

• Doncic and Lebron James playing on the same team could be problematic. Like my yearly physical – it’s best to have just ONE ball handler.

• But a 40-year-old Lebron, with his game, work ethic, and commitment to his body, could be the perfect mentor for the slightly chunky 25-year-old. Lebron will be like, “Luka, (deep Darth Vader breaths) I’m your father.”

• Apparently, Maverick’s general manager, Nico Harrison, called out Doncic on his weight, hoping he’d play at about 15-20 pounds lighter. Just to clarify, Luka. Is that what happened? Or did you ask Nico if your butt looked big in those team shorts? Because that’s different.

• The surprising trade to the Lakers also meant that Doncic would no longer be eligible for a Super Max contract with the Mavericks, costing him around $116 million in potential earnings. Hey Girlfriend. If your man calls you fat, you don’t need to stay in that toxic relationship – even for the money.

• So what if you have some messy NBA breakups, make a few bad investments, and they say your butt looks big. If the Kardashians can bounce back, you can too!

• I wouldn’t worry about Luka’s weight problem. In Los Angeles, most get a nip and tuck, a little colon blow, and take a few shots of Ozempic before their first 10am meeting at Starbucks has even started.

• On the other hand, Dallas can feel better that they traded their 25-year-old superstar for not one, but two Max players – although one of them is Max Christie.

• Maverick’s Coach, Jason Kidd, has a lot of work to do. He needs to teach Anthony Davis the new system, build chemistry with a brand-new unit, and explain to Kyrie Irving the concept of passing the ball.

• Not saying that Kyrie doesn’t share the ball, but the Unibrow’s new nickname could be the Unibro. As in, one Bro, standing all alone in the post, just waiting for the ball.

Credit via Wikipedia

• With Anthony Davis off to Dallas, the Lakers really need to find a big man, and I’m suggesting recently released 7-footer, Mo Bamba to fill that void. Think about it. Instead of the Black Mamba, they could call him the Mack Bamba.

Credit via Instagram

• Or how about Jonus Valanciunas of the Washington Wizards. How bad are the Wizards that of an entire roster filled with 24-year-old lottery picks, the only player other teams are calling for is the slow 33-year-old bearded guy that’s played for four different teams.

• I’m not saying that Valanciunas knew he’d be traded, but he never unpacked and his wife drives a U-Haul.

• Actually, between the Lakers Rob Pelinka, the Mavericks Nico Harrison, and Jazz Danny Ainge, Ainge made the best deal. If the Mavericks fail, Harrison is fired. If Luka and Lebron can’t make it work, Pelinka is history. If Jalen Hood-Schifino fails to progress, who cares. Ainge has a lousy club and a dozen years to turn it around until somebody notices.

• And can you imagine the stories that Hood-Schifino tells his grandchildren when he’s old. Like the time the Lakers traded him for Luka Doncic AND Anthony Davis.

Credit via The Miami Herald

• I’m a little surprised that disgruntled Miami Heat superstar, Jimmy Butler, doesn’t want to join the Golden State Warriors. With Napa and Calistoga so close, he’d be a perfect fit in whine country.

• I could see Butler in Phoenix. I mean, he’s pretty much semi-retired already.

• Butler’s first team, the Chicago Bulls, are such a trainwreck. Miami should do a three-team deal with the Bulls and Nuggets.
Denver gets some bench players, Miami gets some first-round picks, and the Bulls misread all the names and give it all away for Nikola Jovic.

• With the Spurs picking up De’Aaron Fox via trade, you can now say, The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog and Threw an Alley-Oop to Victor Wembanyama – and I believe it uses every letter of the alphabet twice!

• The big rumor is Kevin Durant back to the Golden State Warriors. I thought Father Time was undefeated – not a ninth-seed looking for a Play-in Game.

• What’s the plan? Are the Warriors going to offer Early Bird Specials and start all their games at 4pm?

• Are Steph and Kevin the new Splash Brothers – the therapy pool version?

• Getting the band back together is cool. But the last time Steph and Kevin won a championship, we were all rocking out to Despacito. Are they going to play their games at the Chase Center – or Caesar’s Palace, warming up for Celine Dion.

• As for the Nuggets, the money doesn’t work, but I could see Kawhi Leonard being traded to Denver. Afterall, they both need help off the bench.

• Whoa! I just saw that the Nuggets have acquired Johnathan Kuminga from the Golden State Warriors for Zeke Nnaji and two future first-round picks. No, wait. Not Johnathan Kuminga – Johnathan BAZINGA!

Credit via LAS News

Images via thesportingnews, wikepedia, Instagram, miamiherald, lasnews

Alan Tapley The Athletic Supporter

Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years.  His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship