Credit via Swit Sports

So, for Christmas, my Wishlist is clear
Bo Nix, in the mix, and a beer
With Mahomes’ ACL tore
The Ravens, Lamar, nevermore
The NFL Playoffs are near!

No Burrow, Dan Campbell, no Goff
Am I sick? Turn my head? Should I cough?
For the Orange and the Blue
It’s a dream coming true
For the rest of the teams, yeah, they’re soft

Let’s start off with Christian McCaffrey
Finally healthy, no bad calf or a bad knee
No news could be finer
For the fans of the Niners
But I’m Purdy sure they’re fading fastly

New England, their schedule quite shady
Opponent’s record like 15 and 80
Big deal, beat the Jets
But when it comes to a bet
He’s Drake Maye, not Tom F’ing Brady

Credit via WYPR

The Panthers? The Playoffs? No way!
Who’d you beat? Terrible Saints? Tampa Bay?
When your QB’s Bryce Young
Then your Playoffs are done
But the draft is just four months away

The Seahawks are decent for real
The defense, I sense, the real deal
But their quarterback’s name
Is Sam Darnold, who’s lame
And that is their Achilles Heel

Green Bay’s Kinda done, so to speak
No Parsons or Love, kinda bleak
Their chances are zero
Unless they find a hero
Super Bowl MVP? Um? Malik?

Credit via Facebook

Chicago, in the playoffs? Quite rare.
Ben Johnson and Caleb, nice pair.
But their dreams will soon dive
It’s not 1985
And let’s all be real, it’s the Bears

I read a rough rumor on Reddit
That Puka was anti-Semitic
His brother steals cars
Is now behind bars
Now, Puka’s best friend is the medic

Hey, Houston, now we have a problem
Offensive woes, seems to me, you can’t solve them
Their defense is clever
But Stroud’s just, whatever
So, I’ll see you boys, next year, in Autumn

Now, the Steelers do nothing but win
With Rodgers, and Watt, and Tomlin
But Watt’s out cuz he’s hurt
Rodgers’ older than dirt
So, they’ll lose, in round one, once again

Bill’s Mafia sure loves Josh Allen
Winning games, drinking beer, by the gallon
But come playoffs at night
You can bet on wide right
Cuz they choke, it’s a joke, Jimmy Fallon

Jacksonville gave us a spanking
But I still don’t trust QBR rankings
Trevor’s hair is alluring
But his game’s still maturing
That team is just ripe for the taking

The Eagles are a dysfunctional mess
But they’re champs, pretty good, I guess
With AJ Brown’s pouting ways
And Nick Sirianni’s lousy plays
Repeat Champs? You can give that a rest.

The Chargers? How’d they even make it?
So injury-prone, they may break it
They have Harbaugh and Justin
But the Playoffs are must win
Unlike Madison’s breasts, you can’t fake it

Credit via MSN

Hailee Steinfeld, Madison Beer, Taylor Swift
Your boys all fell short, don’t be miffed
With Surtain and Bonitto
(and Home Field would be neato)
Our ring’s the best holiday gift

Go Broncos!

Credit via KSL Sports

Images via Swit Sports, WYPR, MSN, Facebook, KSL Sports

Alan Tapley The Athletic Supporter

Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years.  His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship