The baseball season is ridiculously long. Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in early February. Opening Day is at the end of March, and with 162 games to be played, the regular season lasts all the way to the end of September.

And now that Major League Baseball has expanded their Playoffs to include six teams in each league, it is fair to believe that your favorite team may be playing in October – or even Game Seven in November.

The point being – baseball lasts forever. Even the worst of teams can hover just below .500 for months, go on a decent winning streak sometime after the All-Star break, and voila – the next thing you know you are in the Playoffs.

Last season, the Philadelphia Phillies finished the season with a record of 87-75 and made it to the World Series. The team went 11-14 in September, had a losing record on the road, and yet, with 162 games in a season, the team proved that anyone could succeed if you can just stay relevant.

With a record of 14-22, the Colorado Rockies are no longer relevant.

It wasn’t like much was expected from a team that lost 94 games last season, but is it too much to ask for a team to avoid mathematical elimination until at least the All-Star break? How about Spring Break? Heck – How about my lunch break?

The 2022 Colorado Rockies were 17-19 at this time a year ago. These guys are on pace to lose 102 games. This team is regressing faster than a Dante Bichette hairline.

Credit via The Toronto Star

The 2023 Rockies are in last place, 8 games behind the Dodgers, last in stolen bases, last in triples, almost last in homeruns, and Las Vegas gives them less than a 0.02% chance of making the playoffs – which is still better than their odds of winning the division (0.01%).

And that’s with Kris Bryant playing every day!

A look at the rocky start of the Rockies.

Credit via YouTube

• Have you seen Kris Bryant and Freddie Freeman in the new Dairy Queen commercial? The good news is that Bryant is back in the lineup. The bad news is that, with only 13 RBIs, it looks like the Buster Posey we paid for – is more like a Peanut Buster Parfait.

• And what’s up with CJ Cron? Can I see the J Cron that hit 29 HRs and drove in 102 last year?

• The Rockies aren’t even a major league team right now. They’re a development squad for Major League Baseball. They should change the name of Coors Field to Coors Light.

• Development squad could be an overstatement. On Tuesday, the Rockies waived Yonathan Daza – and no one picked him up?! Now he is back in AAA Albuquerque, waiting until the Rockies call him back. Apparently, no one wants our players – except us!

• The bright side is that teams are no longer calling us to swindle away players like Nolan Arenado. The Rockies may still hand over our best players for pennies on the dollar – but the best you’re going to steal is a Garrett Hampson.

• I’m not saying that management is incompetent, or that Charlie Monfort is cheap. But when it was announced that German Marquez needed “Tommy John,” the organization sent him three pairs of underwear.

Credit via Amazon.com

• One positive note is the new pitch clock and batter rules implemented to speed up the game. On average, Rockies fans exit the stadium 34 minutes earlier than last season – although the fact that it’s only the seventh inning may have something to do with that.

• Mental Health is no laughing matter, but if it means anything, Daniel Bard – I get anxious when it’s time for the bullpen to come in as well.

• I don’t know much about cable deals and network packages. But I find it ironic that I can’t find the Avalanche on television, our Nuggets get blacked out, and yet, I always seem to find all nine innings of every Rockies game, and then watch them lose again on Rockies Double Play.

Credit via sports overdose

• Calling the Rockies irrelevant after only 36 games seems a bit premature – but the last time the Rockies fielded a decent lineup, Charlie Blackmon was clean-shaven.

• At least we still have Bud Black. If anyone can take a team that is struggling way below .500 and turn them into a team that is just slightly below .500, it’s Bud Black!

• It’s too bad that the shift is no longer allowed in Major League Baseball – because I’m ready to shift my alliance to the Padres or the Braves.

Images via 9news.com, sportsoverdose.com, youtube.com, amazon.com, thetorontostar.com

Alan Tapley
Alan Tapley is an educator, author, and blogger who has lived just outside of Boulder for the last twenty years.  His published work includes two novels, two children’s books, a series of cartoons in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and multiple sports related articles. His love for family and the state of Colorado is only matched by one thing, his passion for sports.  The first baseball game he ever attended was at Wrigley Field, before there were lights.  At the final Bronco game at the old Mile High, he allegedly cut out a piece of his seat in the South stands.  But regardless of being here for the Avalanche’s last Stanley Cup, the Rockies only World Series appearance, and all the Broncos’ Super Bowl Victories, his wife never fails to remind him that he wasn’t at the University of Colorado in 1990, like she was.  The year the Buffs football team won the National Championship
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