I’m not ashamed to admit that as a grown woman A Christmas Carol still scares the bejesus out of me. (Yes, even the Muppet version.)(And in some ways, especially the Muppet version. Here I am thinking Kermie and Gonzo and the gang are going to be upbeat and darling, but NO. Their mirth is corrupted by ghosts upon ghosts that turn my favorite childhood gang into arbiters of holiday haunting. Not cool.)

When I was younger the fear mostly came from the idea that I’d wake up one Christmas Eve to find powder white ghosts flailing chains at my face and I’d be forced to time travel away from my family, my beloved panda bear, and any hope of opening those presents under the tree.

via screenshot from A Muppet Christmas Carol

via screenshot from A Muppet Christmas Carol

Now the story inevitably makes me examine my life choices through an icicle sharp reality. It reminds me of the poverty and disparity that’s usually just easier to ignore. It emphasizes how our age completely colors our lens of the holidays.

Soooo… yeah. Okay. Really where I was trying to go with this is that yeah Christmas time is all about love and giving and joy and chestnuts, but sometimes it’s really just a sleigh-lode of judgment. Family, frenemies, people from your past, they all seem to emerge around this time of year and can be all too eager to comment on anything from your pants size to your choice of life partner and will speculate if there’s a correlation between the two.

This week I thought I’d highlight beauty techniques that make you look fabulous without betraying the fact that you are, indeed, trying to look fabulous. Carmindy Jones calls it the “5 Minute Face.” Lisa Eldridge calls it the “No Makeup Makeup Look.” I call it the “Do This And You Don’t Have To Worry About Meeting Your New Boyfriend’s Parents At Christmas Dinner Looking Like A Hooker.”

The basics seem to boil down to five simple steps:

1) Unify your face’s skin tone.

2) Conceal any Rudolph redness you may have going on.

3) Curl your eyelashes +/- Mascara

4) Apply a blush in a hue as close to your natural flush color as you can and only on the places you naturally flush.

5) Go for a lip color that is either an iota darker than your real lip color or just use a tinted balm. (Personally this is where I think Rosy Lips saves Christmas.)

Do you have any go-to makeup regimens that don’t look overdone, but also don’t make you look like you’re over and done? Let me know in the comments below and I’ll see you next week! Here’s wishing you a happy, healthy, minimally judgey, holiday!