Integrate Your Emotions to Improve Your Life
Have you ever been in an extended funk where no matter how many massages you got, it just didn’t change your crabby mood? It’s so easy to get crabby. You have about 100 excuses these days with our current leadership’s actions, and non-actions. The bandwidth of all our time is overstretched. What to do? My life is as simple as it can be, and I find myself addicted to the hurry and bustle, which keeps me out of the present moment if I’m not careful. Add that to the daily stresses of family, career, and household. What’s a 21st century person to do?
One thing we all are undereducated about is emotional intelligence. The discussion of what to do with your emotions – how to act, how to be – is important when you deal with the stresses of life. There’s no getting out of the rat race, except on retreats and such. But that’s just a ban-aid. The real effective work comes when you begin to deal with your emotions.
Sorry to all the talking therapists, but it’s just not as thorough as other forms of emotional integration. I spent my 20’s talking about my wounded childhood. It got me to a point, but not where I knew healing could occur. The one practice that makes me feel cleaned out and the most integrated is to practice emotional integration.
I did internet research and got lost in all the theories and techniques. It’s much more simple than all that information. When you feel a negative feeling such as fear, worry, doubt, or anger, have a seat in your favorite comfy chair. You want to do this at home, which can be a conundrum, because we, unfortunately, don’t choose when emotions become volatile inside of us. When you notice the same emotion knocking at your door, hopefully, one of those times, you can get in your comfy chair. Don’t lay down, it’s important to stay seated and present so you can most effectively integrate whatever emotion comes up for you.
When you feel volatile emotions arise while you’re at work, or out in the world somewhere, let them be, take a moment to yourself if you can, and observe how they feel. You may have to put them away for later, but don’t shove them aside or they can get more intense or come out in a sideways conversation or action. Stay present and centered as much as you can, when you feel all cockamamie. Get home to your safe space as soon as possible. I treat overwhelming emotions like a mild injury. Take it seriously as it comes up, treat it as you can, and be gentle with yourself.
The next step, after you sit in your chair, is to breathe deeply and invite the discomfort in for a spell. You don’t have to live in discomfort. The key is the more discomfort you feel as you integrate, the lighter you will feel when you’re done. I repeat, do this work now, and your grumpy will change to a lighter, more buoyant feeling, in general. Remember this as you enter the cauldron of change.
What happens next depends on you. You’re psyche will want to attach all sorts of stories of injustice as you are angry, and loss as you are sad. Go back to just feeling the feeling 100 times again and again, while you train yourself to integrate. The more you do it, the better you get at letting it move through you. There is a well of emotion, which runs deeply inside of you. To tap into it to release it, so you don’t feel tight, negative, and overwhelmed. All you have to ‘do’ is sit and feel. The emotion will ravage you. You may feel like you are going to die. I’m 99% sure you won’t. It just feels like it. The emotion will generally feel more intense right when you first begin to feel it. Notice as it dissipates through your sit. It never takes more than 10 minutes as long as you work to let it in, fully.
When you’re done, you will feel a lift in your entire being. Then you know you can get up, drink a glass of water, and write down any insights that are important to you. Congratulate yourself on how courageous and bold you have been.
You’re not done, but you’re done for now. Let it happen again as more emotions come up. After you integrate them, they have a positive message for you, so listen. I wish you the best on this daring journey. It’s okay to be tired and take a rest. Be gentle with yourself and remember how important it is in the long run to successively attend to your negative emotions. You will see how your disposition changes to a more happy-go-lucky style, seemingly overcoming the negativity and overwhelm that the rest of the world is enmeshed in. It’s tough work, but super worth it!
If you have questions, comment below. I found it difficult to do on my own at first. But with practice from a coach, I can efficiently and effectively do it alone in my comfy chair. I wish that for you. You’ll also see how effortless your tasks become. How’s that for some motivation?