Ole’ blue eyes knew a lot about a lot — Do it your way? Absolutely. Wake up in a city that never sleeps? Sure. Strangers in the night? Ehhh… I guess… But I should’ve known he wouldn’t be the best authority on night and day moisturizer. I mean, he “had you under” his skin. That […]

Alright, friends. The time has come. You can release the horses you’ve been holding, salvage teeth enamel from the bits you’ve been chomping, and abandon your seat’s edge to use the whole of it to sit, because yes. The makeup glasses were delivered. For those of you who were spared the suffocation that comes with […]

I’ve been a four eyes since the 2nd grade. Evidently binge reading plus optically challenged genetics equals functional blindness. It’s a formula that holds true to this day. My first pair of glasses had comically large pink plastic frames, because why wouldn’t they. It was like I was trying to earn another merit badge in […]

In case you haven’t been inside a commercial retailer in the last 5 weeks, next week will bring February 14th: Valentine’s Day. I’m not going to get into the singles/couples/heteronormative mess of it all. I’ll just say I’m looking forward to celebrating love. I like sending little Valentine’s Day packages to my niece and nephew […]

Does anyone remember Butterfinger BB’s? They were endorsed by Bart Simpson in the ‘90s and they were delicious. They were bite sized Butterfinger mustket-esque looking balls. Mmmm… Butterfinger balls. Clearly, I have etched them on my brain so they were the first thing I thought of when I started to hear about this “BB” business, […]

MICROBES! Ew, right? They’re everywhere. So, if you’re like me and still have the liquid foundation you bought your first year of college… this quiz is for you. 1) When it comes to eyeshadow, I… a) still have the hue I wore to prom 12 years ago b) use a value sized pot of neutral […]

Kevyn Aucoin had every reason to fail. Or to not even fail. “Fail” implies he had opportunities for success that eluded him; he didn’t. He was a feminine, gangly, boy who lived in the homophobic South with his Catholic adoptive family. Despite this, he became a self taught master who achieved an unprecedented celebrity in […]

In the way that Christmas’s go-to decor colors are red & green, Hallowen’s are orange & black, Valentine’s is pink or puke, New Years Eve’s is glitter. Glitter, glitter, glitter. Naturally, I expect you’ll be incorporating this central tenet into your New Years makeup look. And by “you” I mean those readers who still actually […]

I’m not ashamed to admit that as a grown woman A Christmas Carol still scares the bejesus out of me. (Yes, even the Muppet version.)(And in some ways, especially the Muppet version. Here I am thinking Kermie and Gonzo and the gang are going to be upbeat and darling, but NO. Their mirth is corrupted […]

I approached this week’s column with verve. Fantasy online shopping is one of my favorite procrastination past times. So the prospect of perusing offerings upon offerings for holiday gift ideas? YES, PLEASE. Then a weird thing happened. I started to feel… icky. Like I’d had a body dip in jam and then rolled around in […]